8 Ways to Reduce Stress

In today’s world, there are many reasons to stress, worry and overthink. Stress is toxic to our body and mind and with the holiday season approaching, our anxiety may begin to heighten even more.

Here are 8 ways to minimize your stress during this holiday season, and year-round.

1. Rid of toxic people.
Some of the biggest stressors we have in life come from family and friends. As hard as this is, if you want to reduce stress in your life, rid of, or set boundaries with those people who are toxic.

Grab some paper and a pen and write down all the people that are toxic in your life. Then, circle the ones who you can eliminate from life today, and commit to not communicating with them any longer.

Next, put a star next to those who you can’t eliminate from your life, but can set boundaries with. Setting boundaries means that you do not enable people to continue hurting you. You can help people, but you do not need to change your schedule and do things that are harmful to you in order to help them. Now, write down the first action step you can take to set a boundary with each person on the list.

2. Do not compare yourself.
One of the best things that you can do to avoid stress is to not compare yourself to others. When you compare yourself to someone else, you put yourself in a direct line for failure. Every person’s past is different, their biology is different, their circumstances are different and there is a lot you do not know about them in general.

This does not mean that you cannot have role models and mentors. You can admire certain characteristics in people such as their motivation or integrity. You can use certain people’s life paths as a guide to help you. The one thing you should try to avoid is measuring your progress against someone else’s life.

3. Set realistic goals.
If you want to reduce your stressors, set goals that are realistic and attainable. Sometimes people set goals that are unrealistic. It is okay to dream big, but be sure that each goal you set toward your dream is something that is realistic and attainable for that moment in your life. It can be demotivating to set goals and not have the abilities or resources to achieve that goal. Instead, set more realistic goals and start with small steps to achieve those goals. As you begin to obtain these goals, you will gain more motivation, successes and resources to set bigger goals in time.

4. Forgive.
If you want to reduce stress, avoid harboring anger or frustration. Let go of grudges, they hurt only you. Only you live with these negative thoughts every day, no one else. Forgive the past and everyone in it, so you can move forward. It does not mean you forget the act against you, but it does mean that you shift control from the abuser to you, so that you can begin to make changes to live happier and healthier. Once you shift the control, you can change your future.

5. Stop Ruminating.
Rumination is where we spend hours going over the same thing, again and again in our mind. We then spiral our brains down into this self-defeating, negative event, where we then “ruminate” for hours on what went wrong. When you catch yourself ruminating, often creating problems that were not there in the first place, work hard to reframe your negative thinking and challenge these thoughts.

Consider writing down the faulty thought, and then writing down a new and healthier statement to oppose the negative thought.

6. Do not make impulsive decisions.
To avoid short and long-term stress, do not make impulsive decisions. These decisions are often based out of emotion versus logic. These decisions also decrease our confidence over time. When you are in an emotional state, retreat from making any big decisions, and instead write down the decisions that you are contemplating and go back in a day or two to re-read what you wrote. Does this still sound like a good idea? Often, walking away and calming down will save you relationships, money, stress and time.

7. Worry once, not twice.
One way to minimize stress is to avoid worrying all the time. If you create anxiety and tell yourself that something might go wrong, and then in fact it goes wrong, then you lived the pain twice. Once before you knew if the situation was going to end badly and then once after you found out. If you tell yourself that something might go wrong, and then in fact it does not go wrong, you lived the pain initially for no reason.

Instead, plan for situations, but don’t work yourself and others up about a situation that has not yet occurred. Conserve your energy so that you have time to deal with real stressors when they come into your life. This way, you will be clearer minded and ready to manage challenges if you really need to.

8. Realize that you are not perfect.
One way to significantly reduce stress is to avoid striving for perfection. Perfection is almost impossible to obtain because everyone’s definition of perfect is different. Perfectionists often have to strive non-stop to be the best, based on what they think other people want or they have to spend their days comparing themselves to others to attempt copying what they think perfect is. Moreover, perfectionists also hold other people to this standard, only to find out that they are burning bridges and support systems over time.

The consistent trying and failing, coupled with comparing and limited support systems, is often exhausting and decreases overall confidence. The enormous amount of stress a person puts on themselves as they work toward being perfect is damaging to the body physiologically and psychologically.

Instead of always striving to be perfect, try to work on self-actualizing. This means to focus on being better than you were the day, week, or month before. Use yourself as a measure to get better day by day. In addition, allow yourself (and others) to make mistakes occasionally without being so critical.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is The Bay Area’s Life Coach! She is a licensed mental health counselor, entrepreneur, author, motivational speaker, wife and mother.

Dr. Jaime empowers people to overcome barriers, discover their own greatness, and in turn, achieve success. She educates, guides and holds accountable, women, men, adolescents and families to make better lifestyle decisions and provides practical tools for overall health and success.

Dr. Jaime is the International Author of The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step by Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance. Her book was named one of the best work life balance books of all time according to Book Authority. The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment has been translated and published in over 15 countries over 4 continents.

When it comes to balance and happiness, Dr. Jaime is the go-to motivational speaker for companies. With her engaging personality and sense of humor, audiences are inspired to use the content in order to enhance their personal and professional lives.

Dr. Jaime is a frequent mental health expert on national TV and radio. She was featured as the lead interviewer on CNBC’s The Job Interview, as well as the spokeswoman for Wendy’s, British Airways and LaLa Yogurt Smoothies.