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Being a teenager is not easy! Teens are working to become more independent and learning to manage the changes in hormones, all while keeping up with friendships, relationships, breakups, schoolwork, sports, applying to colleges, social media, family and first-time jobs. Even the best teenagers still have piles of work and emotions on their shoulders each and every day.
For some teenagers, the 2021-22 school year isn’t just these responsibilities, but also that they are coming back to in-school for the first time since Spring Break, 2019! Whether or not the young adult is excited to go back to in-school or not, it can be anxiety provoking getting back into the groove having been away for so long.
Here are 5 ways you can prepare your teenager for the upcoming school year:
1. Help Your Teen Set Realistic Goals
About 90% of people who write down their goals, reach them. Help your teen set realistic goals for the 21-22 school year. While we want our children to be successful, it doesn’t need to come at the cost of them having a mental breakdown or losing clarity over their life. They still are children, and it is ok if they have a free weekend day or some fun, occasionally. Many teenagers are slammed with AP classes, sports after school and hours of homework. Teach them balance and that it is okay to relax once in a while, (something we as adults could benefit from understanding, too).
Pro Tip: Ask your teen to list three goals they want to achieve for the overall school year. Then, help them identify smaller, realistic and achievable goals for the first term. As you keep in mind setting realistic goals, be cognizant that certain years of high school are tougher than others. As the school year begins, identify and plan for the upcoming year and balance accordingly.
2. Set Boundaries with Social Media
Social media causes many issues for teenagers from procrastination to drama and bullying. These platforms can really hurt a student emotionally and academically if there are no limits or boundaries set upon them.
Pro Tip: Use social media as a reward for your teenager. Set limits on their social media during school hours by turning off their ability to access these various platforms from their computer and cell phones. By setting limits on social media, students will focus much more inside the classroom and complete more in and out of class homework. Be sure to always stick to the reward you have in place and turn their social media back on for them after school hours or after homework is completed.
3. Educate Your Teen on How to Stay Out of Drama
High school comes with drama. Educate your teen on not being the instigator of drama and on how to not insert themselves into drama they have nothing to do with. Many teenagers play the middleman or savior when peers within their friend group argue. In fact, they think it is the right thing to do, only to then discover their good deeds have now turned around on them and they are the bad friend.
Pro Tip: Encourage your teen to stay away from taking sides with friends or trying to rescue a situation that has nothing to do with them. Educate them on how to remain neutral with friends who are arguing, the power of just listening versus giving advice and how to encourage their friends to seek guidance or support in different ways.
4. Discuss Support Systems Upfront
Every year of high school varies in challenges for teenagers. Freshman year is about adjusting to high school and finding a friend group. Sophomore year is about learning to stay out of drama. Junior year is about survival and managing a huge load of homework all while coming to the realization that the SAT/ACT needs to be studied for, scheduled, and taken. Senior year is about applying to colleges, learning to say goodbye to best friends and avoiding senioritis. Each stage of high school calls for students to be reminded of what support systems they have access to.
Pro Tip: Sit down with your teenager and ask them what is on their mind regarding the upcoming school year. Then, listen. Together come up with a specific list about who their support systems are and how to contact them. List out their support systems in the community, school and even consider professional supports that they can lean on. Not all teenagers feel comfortable talking to mom or dad when things get tough. Provide your teenager with this list and at some point in the four years, they will use this!
5. Create a Plan
Children and young adults benefit from routine, structure and planning. Knowing what to expect next and having an idea of what is coming up, minimizes anxiety at both a conscious and unconscious level. Even for older children, it is important that you do not expect that they know how to plan effectively, this is a skill that is taught and learned over time.
Pro Tip: High school has a lot of moving parts, and your teenager will benefit from you helping them plan things out. Once you sit down and educate your teenager on how to plan, they will catch on quickly and procrastinate less. After your teen comes home with their syllabi from each class on the first or second day of school, take 30 minutes to help them write out their due dates for assignments, tests and projects in their planner. Then, create a plan to study and prepare for the first set of upcoming tasks. Make sure requirements such as sports, work, babysitting, picking up a sibling, doctor’s appointments, church, etc. are blocked in their schedules as well.
Dr. Jaime Kulaga is The Bay Area’s Life Coach! She is a licensed mental health counselor, entrepreneur, author, motivational speaker, wife and mother.
Dr. Jaime empowers people to overcome barriers, discover their own greatness, and in turn, achieve success. She educates, guides and holds accountable, women, men, adolescents and families to make better lifestyle decisions and provides practical tools for overall health and success.
Dr. Jaime is the International Author of The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step by Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance. Her book was named one of the best work life balance books of all time according to Book Authority. The SuperWoman’s Guide to Super Fulfillment has been translated and published in over 15 countries over 4 continents.
When it comes to balance and happiness, Dr. Jaime is the go-to motivational speaker for companies. With her engaging personality and sense of humor, audiences are inspired to use the content in order to enhance their personal and professional lives.
Dr. Jaime is a frequent mental health expert on national TV and radio. She was featured as the lead interviewer on CNBC’s The Job Interview, as well as the spokeswoman for Wendy’s, British Airways and LaLa Yogurt Smoothies.