Managing Grief and Depression

Submitted by Hospice of Marion County

The loss of a loved one often brings both grief and depression. What’s the difference or are they one and the same emotion?

The Hospice Foundation of America defines grief as a reaction to loss. It is comprised of all the reactions you are experiencing, not just emotionally, but spiritually, physically, cognitively and socially. There is a clear correlation between how much you grieve and how much love you had for the person you lost. In grief, you may have had a particularly bad day remembering your lost special someone, but it may not be as bad the next day. However, depression, or more specifically clinical depression, is not intermittent. It is persistent, ongoing, never changing. Additionally, depression is accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness and apathy with one questioning “Why go on?” Deep sadness is usually more about the feelings of the lost loved one, whereas clinical depression often has a more negative self-focus which can become distorted with feelings of worthlessness and guilt.

During Depression Awareness Month, we recognize that mental health is as important as physical health. While we may not always have control over physical health, we do have options when it comes to staying grounded while grieving. If you find you are having a constant negative outlook on life and can find no meaning or joy in things you have previously cared about, you may be experiencing clinical depression. Know that depression is treatable with counseling and sometimes with medication. You are not alone in this journey.

That is where the Monarch Center for Hope & Healing can help. The center has been offering counseling for individuals, families and groups for more than a decade. Programs are offered for adults, teens and children at no charge to Marion County residents who are experiencing the loss of a loved one. Here are some tips to help you on your grief journey:

• Grief is a recurring experience. You will experience grief sometimes well after you thought you had healed. It may be a conversation that triggers a memory of your lost loved one or an event you’re attending with others that triggers a past experience. Being prepared and knowing this will happen in the future is the first step to healing at your own pace.

• Grief affects everyone differently. No matter the age, children, teens and adults experience grief in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

• Don’t shut others out. Talking to someone about your loss and feelings may not be easy, but is necessary. Find a friend or professional you can trust with your thoughts and feelings.

• Allow yourself to feel your loss. You can’t heal if you don’t acknowledge those feelings and let it run its natural path. Keeping emotions bottled up or suppressing them is never good. Facing your loss and expressing those emotions leads to a healthier outcome.

• Express your grief through writing. Sometimes writing a letter to your loved one is a helpful exercise that aids in coping.

• Keep a journal. Remember the good and the bad memories in a personal journal. Expressing your daily emotions can sometimes bring clarity and hope.

• Be a good listener to others grieving. While we all grieve in different ways, listening skills are very important whether you are listening to someone who has lost a loved one or you are sharing your loss in a group counseling session. Be supportive of others’ loss.

Hospice of Marion County’s Monarch Center for Hope and Healing has trained professionals with the expertise to guide adults, children and teens through a process of understanding the grief they are experiencing towards healthy behaviors. Through its programs of sharing memories, emotions and strategies for coping with others who are also grieving, it can be especially helpful in healing and recovery for those suffering the loss of a loved one. Their message is that loss of control over external events does not mean the loss of one’s inner strength.

The Monarch Center’s staff is able to work with bereaved families and individuals via in-person meetings, via phone, email or teleconferencing.
Visit our website at www.monarchcenter-marion.com/ to learn more or give us a call at (352) 873-7456 to set up an appointment.